What We Should Really Do With Osama

Killing Osama bin Laden will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do neither.

Let the Special Forces, Seals, or whoever, covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital, and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.

Then we return HER to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.

How Pigs Can Win the War

Just a thought...

An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought against the Islamic terrorist attacks by burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the Islamic belief is that if one's body is buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell.

I did a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking. If we put a baby pig on every airline flight, then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell.

Additionally, if we drop-shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into greater Afghanistan, I think our assault efforts would be a lot more successful.

pparently Muslims dislike the very sight of pigs A LOT! They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousands gallons of scotch, get them shit-faced and turn the pigs loose. The war would be over in a weekend.